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Baad Halloween by Sue Ennis
Oct 31st, 2007 by Ms. Tralwind
Baad Halloween
By Sue Ennis
All of you veteran Heart fans who keep a close watch on the band’s major social affairs know that Ann’s Annual Halloween Party has become legendary. You remember last year’s bash? You probably thought just as we did, that Ann’s Basement of Terror 1983 could never be topped. Not so, my easily impressed friends! Because this year’s so-called Bad Halloween has also achieved its rightful place in Heart Hall of Fame Party Archives.
This year Ann’s party theme was “It’s a Bad Halloween!” That meant that everything about the party from the guests’ costumes to the evening’s entertainment had to be in bad taste. The cornier, the uglier, the crasser, the shabbier, THE BETTER! No quality allowed!
Let’s start with the party decorations. A life-size stand-up display of Ed McMahon, masked for the occasion, holding a sign that said “Heeerrreee’s Baaaaad Halloween” greeted the guests on the front porch. At his feet Ann’s famous ugly pumpkins lit up the walkway with their stupid grins. (Nobody carves pumpkins like Ann. She wielded her wicked knife on about 10 of them this year.)
Once inside, the guests were met with a wonderland of orange and black decorations - all in “haute plastique” (high plastic). There were boring “Happy Halloween” cardboard signs, cheap-o plastic pumpkins, and dumb, supremely unscarey, rubber bats and rats hanging from the ceiling and stairs. Someone had really tried hard to avoid being creative or interesting.
The original guest list included about 30 of the band’s friends, but you know how those things go. Word leaked out that there was going to be some amazing entertainment; so many more requests for invitations came through. I think we counted about 60 people when the party hits its zenith about 1:00 a.m. The collection of costumes was of Oscar-winning caliber. Alan (Ann’s secretary and prime mover of Heart in Seattle) made the best Michael Jackson anybody’d ever seen. It was pretty much a dead heat between him and my sister Cinde’s “Mr. T” for best costume of the night. In the end Cinde eked him out in the costume contest, but I don’t think Alan minded since the prize was bread, cheese and wine - Wonder, Velveeta, and Thunderbird!
We had a great flock of nerds, too. Kelly Curtis came as a real jerky-looking rock photographer named Carl. He wouldn’t break character, either. You’d say, “Hey, Kelly, what’s been going on with you lately?” He’d say, (dumb guy voice) “Huh? Huh? Hey, my name’s Carl. Oh, I partied with Ozzy, man!” we also had some really bizarre costumes that you couldn’t really categorize. One of those was Howie’s. He was kind of a futuristic spaceman, an out-take from a bad episode of “Lost in Space” he actually looked almost too great to be at a “bad” party, did Howie. Tight blue pants, gloves, and a really elaborate leather mask. Ann and Nance and I appeared identically dressed in red graduation robes with the letters “LC” emblazoned on the backs. Black monk hoods covered our heads. None knew what to make of us at first (some kind of religious cult?), but the mystery was cleared up during the entertainment section of the party.
Upstairs in Ann’s ballroom the 50’s vintage jukebox churned out one golden oldie after the next, and you could watch a Tube of Toothpaste dance with Rajaneeshi, or a Cabbage Patch doll do “The Pony” with Henry VIII. The red light bulbs in every lamp cast strange heat over everything. Once the punch bowl became the heart of the party, with everyone hovering nearby for frequent and quick dips into this fountain of inspiration, we knew it was time for the entertainment to begin!
First up was Lynn Wilson, Ann and Nancy’s older sister who had come up to the party from her home in Oregon - Another Wilson sister with gigantic talent, Lynn’s specialty is in drama. She has a magical way of making things come alive with her voice and gestures, and she had chosen to read “The Tell-Tale Heart.” Everyone huddled together on the living room floor in candlelight while Lynn sat by the fire with a blanket over her head and read. She looked like some mysterious gypsy woman, and held the crowd spellbound with her interpretation of the story. When she came to the final chilling sentence, Ann, along with Lynn’s kids, played a loud doomsday chord on the piano and gave high pitched screams of fright. Everybody jumped, and then broke into cheers and applause in appreciation for the good scare. Great stuff!
None knew what to expect when Frank Cox, our longtime close friend and fellow musician, took his turn. Frank was dressed as such a complete nerd it was hard to look at him: his hair slicked back, ugly glasses, very short pants with white socks and big black clunker shoes and a great big John Glenn pin over his pocket protector. The worst part was the way he talked; very high-pitched with a pinched nasal tone. He was “Larry Anderson” twin brother of Laurie Anderson, who, you probably know, is an avant garde performance artist who works in multi-media. Frank stood behind his homemade black podium and spoke into a microphone which distorted his voice (just like Laurie Anderson does), while pointing to a slide show he had created. He had taken slides of really funny pictures out of a LIFE magazine from the ’50s and made up a whole story called “Chemicals In Action” to tie them together. A tape of a futuristic song he had written on his synthesizer and recorded for his show played in the background. Those of us who’d seen Laurie Anderson’s concert were really stunned at how perfectly he had captured her style, but more than that, we were surprised how excellent Frank’s show was on its own. It was hilarious and clever, and perfectly pulled off. Frank just tore the place up! We mobbed him afterward.
Then it was time for the three mysterious robed figures (Ann, Nance and me) to disappear. The party-goers were summoned upstairs where the ballroom had been transformed into a concert venue. A poster outside the door announced “Lady Clergy - - Sold Out.” At one end of the room 3 microphones, 3 serious-looking electric guitars and a stack of amps created the look of a rock stage. Above the scene hung a huge sign featuring the logo of Lady Clergy; the word in stylized letters with a maltese cross off to the side. (The sign was Nance’s handiwork - - she designed the logo and painted it.)The room was packed, and slowly the idea passed through the crowd that they were about to witness a Heavy Metal Concert.
One of Lady Clergy’s roadies turned off the lights - the drum machine started pounding out a steady, heavy beat - and everyone turned to see the candlelit arrival of the greatest all-woman, power-trio in rock today:
“Ladies and Gentlemen” LADY CLERGY!!
The crowd immediately started chanting “Clergy! Clergy! Clergy!” The three band members walked through the cheering crowd in time to the beat - - each carrying a single candle in a kind of mock ritual. When they took to the stage, the red spotlight came on to reveal the legendary San Francisco rock promoter, “Bill Graham” on stage with the band. (This was our best friend Cameron Crowe, master mimic and comedy king, decked out in his best/worst rock show clothes.) “Bill” introduced the band. There was “Serpentina” (me, Sue) on guitar and vocals. Also known as the “snakewoman,” Serpentina sported rubber snakes wrapped around her arms. (A giant anaconda was attached to her mike so that she seemed to be singing into its head.) She wore blindingly shiny silver pants, spiked belts dripping with long chains (for protection!), aT-shirt that said “Eat the Rich” and long shiny gold gloves. Her headband featured some very serious-looking electric guitars. Her huge platform boots made her quite tall and imposing (also gave her very sore feet).
Next to Serpentina, at center stage, on bass guitar and vocals was “The Nun” (Ann). She, too, teetered in platform boots. Her outfit was Heavy metal Nirvana with a real leather-and-spikes body harness, some spiked gear that attached to the backs of the hands to turn them into lethal weapons - for protection! She also wore a clerical collar and a beautiful red velvet cape (just like The Pope!).
Finally, on stage left, everyone was introduced to “Eve,” (Nance), the “first lady” of rock ‘n roll. Like her booted counterparts, Eve was tall and mean. As lead guitarist, Nance was the band’s leader and spiritual guide. She wore black leather pants, lots of hipbelts and one red apple around her neck that told her whole story of where she was coming from - - a new kind of Garden of Eden! Metal garden!
Each Clergy member wore a huge bejeweled cross (designed and created by Ann) around her neck; a badge of honor for band members only. You’d never see them sell Clergy crosses to the masses outside the coliseum at the merchandise stands. Crimson plastic apples, rubber snakes, and hand spikeds - yes! Key chains with tiny platform boots, tubes of Lady Clergy glittering blue lipstick - maybe. But no cheap replicas of those hallowed crosses! This band has standards!!
Bill Graham finished his intro - “Ladies and Gentlemen, from Bellevue, Washington, Heavy Metal Capital of the World, I give you LADY CLERGY!” .. the beat was still going. They strapped on their guitars and screamed the countoff together in wicked unison …
Thank you Harley - www.ladyclergy.com for the LC photo
“One - Taooo .- Threeeeee -. Faaaaaoooowwww!”
Massive power chords shook the room. It was that great old standard “Wild Thing.” The total “Clergy” experience had begun. Each song had been customized for the Heavy metal style. The next song featured Serpentina on lead vocal singing a mighty version of “Karma Chameleon” with the lines “I’m a LADY without conviction, I’m a LADY who doesn’t know …
“One - Taooo .- Threeeeee -. Faaaaaoooowwww!”
Between songs those “party ladies” were swigging out of three half gallon-sized bottles of Jack Daniels (OK - it was really herbal tea) and smoking black cigarettes. Next up was De Nun’s showcase number, a HM version of “Feelings.” She delivered it with an “I-mean-it” anger, and when it came to the chorus her band mates chimed in, “Feelings, whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings, I wish I’d never met you, man. You really bum me out! Feelings… If I ever see you again, it’ll @#$%&* be too soon!”
The band squinted beyond the spotlights into the audience and saw a united mass of fans giving them a taut-fisted power salute. The audience approved!
Then it was Eve’s’ turn to take over on lead vocal. Her song was “Lady In The Sky” (to the tune of Norman Greenbaum’s “Spirit In The Sky”). Eve rapped down to the crowd about the philosophy of partying and from there opened up the heavy duty thought vaults to give them a taste of her own religion. According to Eve, “Who says there ain’t a lady in the sky instead of a man?” (Nance really gave a masterful tirade of mock feminism.) The ending of her song was a great overindulgent rally which was almost longer than the song itself. They just chugged on their guitars on one chord - - finally building into a break where they came down together on the same chord over and over, each time bending forward from the waist, forceflipping their hair at the audience.
Do I even have to mention they were called back for an encore? The crowd was insane! The tune they had chosen for their encore was “Lady From Ipanema” (remember that old bossa nova hit from the early 60’s, “The Girl From Ipanema”?) This rendition of the song included the words, “When she passes, each man she passes goes “ROCK N ROLL!!!!” Fists raised, they shouted those magical words with everything they had, and the audience shouted back at them. Things were getting good and rowdy now. By the time they concluded the song with a rally twice as long as the previous one - this time down on their knees - the crowd rushed toward the stage, and they had to call in “Security” - - our real-life drum technician Gary Clark, and Brian Foraker, Heart’s soundman) to control the mob.
The party launched into a higher pitch after the concert, especially by the arrival of John Waite, his band, and a few members of Scandal. They were in Seattle for a show the next night and were looking for something fun to do on their night off. John, looking great by the way, met Lady Clergy and expressed his regrets at having missed the performance. Soon the house came alive with music from just about every room. Some of the musicians were jamming on old blues songs in the living room, the jukebox was still blaring upstairs, and you could hear different groups of people harmonizing and laughing from here and there. The punch bowl was heating up - seemed to be bubbling - from so much dipping. The red lights changed the color of everyone’s skin. The dancer’s feet seemed to make steam rise from the floor.
Then we all went home.
By Sue Ennis
All of you veteran Heart fans who keep a close watch on the band’s major social affairs know that Ann’s Annual Halloween Party has become legendary. You remember last year’s bash? You probably thought just as we did, that Ann’s Basement of Terror 1983 could never be topped. Not so, my easily impressed friends! Because this year’s so-called Bad Halloween has also achieved its rightful place in Heart Hall of Fame Party Archives.
This year Ann’s party theme was “It’s a Bad Halloween!” That meant that everything about the party from the guests’ costumes to the evening’s entertainment had to be in bad taste. The cornier, the uglier, the crasser, the shabbier, THE BETTER! No quality allowed!
Let’s start with the party decorations. A life-size stand-up display of Ed McMahon, masked for the occasion, holding a sign that said “Heeerrreee’s Baaaaad Halloween” greeted the guests on the front porch. At his feet Ann’s famous ugly pumpkins lit up the walkway with their stupid grins. (Nobody carves pumpkins like Ann. She wielded her wicked knife on about 10 of them this year.)
Once inside, the guests were met with a wonderland of orange and black decorations - all in “haute plastique” (high plastic). There were boring “Happy Halloween” cardboard signs, cheap-o plastic pumpkins, and dumb, supremely unscarey, rubber bats and rats hanging from the ceiling and stairs. Someone had really tried hard to avoid being creative or interesting.
The original guest list included about 30 of the band’s friends, but you know how those things go. Word leaked out that there was going to be some amazing entertainment; so many more requests for invitations came through. I think we counted about 60 people when the party hits its zenith about 1:00 a.m. The collection of costumes was of Oscar-winning caliber. Alan (Ann’s secretary and prime mover of Heart in Seattle) made the best Michael Jackson anybody’d ever seen. It was pretty much a dead heat between him and my sister Cinde’s “Mr. T” for best costume of the night. In the end Cinde eked him out in the costume contest, but I don’t think Alan minded since the prize was bread, cheese and wine - Wonder, Velveeta, and Thunderbird!
We had a great flock of nerds, too. Kelly Curtis came as a real jerky-looking rock photographer named Carl. He wouldn’t break character, either. You’d say, “Hey, Kelly, what’s been going on with you lately?” He’d say, (dumb guy voice) “Huh? Huh? Hey, my name’s Carl. Oh, I partied with Ozzy, man!” we also had some really bizarre costumes that you couldn’t really categorize. One of those was Howie’s. He was kind of a futuristic spaceman, an out-take from a bad episode of “Lost in Space” he actually looked almost too great to be at a “bad” party, did Howie. Tight blue pants, gloves, and a really elaborate leather mask. Ann and Nance and I appeared identically dressed in red graduation robes with the letters “LC” emblazoned on the backs. Black monk hoods covered our heads. None knew what to make of us at first (some kind of religious cult?), but the mystery was cleared up during the entertainment section of the party.
Upstairs in Ann’s ballroom the 50’s vintage jukebox churned out one golden oldie after the next, and you could watch a Tube of Toothpaste dance with Rajaneeshi, or a Cabbage Patch doll do “The Pony” with Henry VIII. The red light bulbs in every lamp cast strange heat over everything. Once the punch bowl became the heart of the party, with everyone hovering nearby for frequent and quick dips into this fountain of inspiration, we knew it was time for the entertainment to begin!
First up was Lynn Wilson, Ann and Nancy’s older sister who had come up to the party from her home in Oregon - Another Wilson sister with gigantic talent, Lynn’s specialty is in drama. She has a magical way of making things come alive with her voice and gestures, and she had chosen to read “The Tell-Tale Heart.” Everyone huddled together on the living room floor in candlelight while Lynn sat by the fire with a blanket over her head and read. She looked like some mysterious gypsy woman, and held the crowd spellbound with her interpretation of the story. When she came to the final chilling sentence, Ann, along with Lynn’s kids, played a loud doomsday chord on the piano and gave high pitched screams of fright. Everybody jumped, and then broke into cheers and applause in appreciation for the good scare. Great stuff!
None knew what to expect when Frank Cox, our longtime close friend and fellow musician, took his turn. Frank was dressed as such a complete nerd it was hard to look at him: his hair slicked back, ugly glasses, very short pants with white socks and big black clunker shoes and a great big John Glenn pin over his pocket protector. The worst part was the way he talked; very high-pitched with a pinched nasal tone. He was “Larry Anderson” twin brother of Laurie Anderson, who, you probably know, is an avant garde performance artist who works in multi-media. Frank stood behind his homemade black podium and spoke into a microphone which distorted his voice (just like Laurie Anderson does), while pointing to a slide show he had created. He had taken slides of really funny pictures out of a LIFE magazine from the ’50s and made up a whole story called “Chemicals In Action” to tie them together. A tape of a futuristic song he had written on his synthesizer and recorded for his show played in the background. Those of us who’d seen Laurie Anderson’s concert were really stunned at how perfectly he had captured her style, but more than that, we were surprised how excellent Frank’s show was on its own. It was hilarious and clever, and perfectly pulled off. Frank just tore the place up! We mobbed him afterward.
Then it was time for the three mysterious robed figures (Ann, Nance and me) to disappear. The party-goers were summoned upstairs where the ballroom had been transformed into a concert venue. A poster outside the door announced “Lady Clergy - - Sold Out.” At one end of the room 3 microphones, 3 serious-looking electric guitars and a stack of amps created the look of a rock stage. Above the scene hung a huge sign featuring the logo of Lady Clergy; the word in stylized letters with a maltese cross off to the side. (The sign was Nance’s handiwork - - she designed the logo and painted it.)The room was packed, and slowly the idea passed through the crowd that they were about to witness a Heavy Metal Concert.
One of Lady Clergy’s roadies turned off the lights - the drum machine started pounding out a steady, heavy beat - and everyone turned to see the candlelit arrival of the greatest all-woman, power-trio in rock today:
“Ladies and Gentlemen” LADY CLERGY!!
The crowd immediately started chanting “Clergy! Clergy! Clergy!” The three band members walked through the cheering crowd in time to the beat - - each carrying a single candle in a kind of mock ritual. When they took to the stage, the red spotlight came on to reveal the legendary San Francisco rock promoter, “Bill Graham” on stage with the band. (This was our best friend Cameron Crowe, master mimic and comedy king, decked out in his best/worst rock show clothes.) “Bill” introduced the band. There was “Serpentina” (me, Sue) on guitar and vocals. Also known as the “snakewoman,” Serpentina sported rubber snakes wrapped around her arms. (A giant anaconda was attached to her mike so that she seemed to be singing into its head.) She wore blindingly shiny silver pants, spiked belts dripping with long chains (for protection!), aT-shirt that said “Eat the Rich” and long shiny gold gloves. Her headband featured some very serious-looking electric guitars. Her huge platform boots made her quite tall and imposing (also gave her very sore feet).
Next to Serpentina, at center stage, on bass guitar and vocals was “The Nun” (Ann). She, too, teetered in platform boots. Her outfit was Heavy metal Nirvana with a real leather-and-spikes body harness, some spiked gear that attached to the backs of the hands to turn them into lethal weapons - for protection! She also wore a clerical collar and a beautiful red velvet cape (just like The Pope!).
Finally, on stage left, everyone was introduced to “Eve,” (Nance), the “first lady” of rock ‘n roll. Like her booted counterparts, Eve was tall and mean. As lead guitarist, Nance was the band’s leader and spiritual guide. She wore black leather pants, lots of hipbelts and one red apple around her neck that told her whole story of where she was coming from - - a new kind of Garden of Eden! Metal garden!
Each Clergy member wore a huge bejeweled cross (designed and created by Ann) around her neck; a badge of honor for band members only. You’d never see them sell Clergy crosses to the masses outside the coliseum at the merchandise stands. Crimson plastic apples, rubber snakes, and hand spikeds - yes! Key chains with tiny platform boots, tubes of Lady Clergy glittering blue lipstick - maybe. But no cheap replicas of those hallowed crosses! This band has standards!!
Bill Graham finished his intro - “Ladies and Gentlemen, from Bellevue, Washington, Heavy Metal Capital of the World, I give you LADY CLERGY!” .. the beat was still going. They strapped on their guitars and screamed the countoff together in wicked unison …
Thank you Harley - www.ladyclergy.com for the LC photo
“One - Taooo .- Threeeeee -. Faaaaaoooowwww!”
Massive power chords shook the room. It was that great old standard “Wild Thing.” The total “Clergy” experience had begun. Each song had been customized for the Heavy metal style. The next song featured Serpentina on lead vocal singing a mighty version of “Karma Chameleon” with the lines “I’m a LADY without conviction, I’m a LADY who doesn’t know …
“One - Taooo .- Threeeeee -. Faaaaaoooowwww!”
Between songs those “party ladies” were swigging out of three half gallon-sized bottles of Jack Daniels (OK - it was really herbal tea) and smoking black cigarettes. Next up was De Nun’s showcase number, a HM version of “Feelings.” She delivered it with an “I-mean-it” anger, and when it came to the chorus her band mates chimed in, “Feelings, whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings, I wish I’d never met you, man. You really bum me out! Feelings… If I ever see you again, it’ll @#$%&* be too soon!”
The band squinted beyond the spotlights into the audience and saw a united mass of fans giving them a taut-fisted power salute. The audience approved!
Then it was Eve’s’ turn to take over on lead vocal. Her song was “Lady In The Sky” (to the tune of Norman Greenbaum’s “Spirit In The Sky”). Eve rapped down to the crowd about the philosophy of partying and from there opened up the heavy duty thought vaults to give them a taste of her own religion. According to Eve, “Who says there ain’t a lady in the sky instead of a man?” (Nance really gave a masterful tirade of mock feminism.) The ending of her song was a great overindulgent rally which was almost longer than the song itself. They just chugged on their guitars on one chord - - finally building into a break where they came down together on the same chord over and over, each time bending forward from the waist, forceflipping their hair at the audience.
Do I even have to mention they were called back for an encore? The crowd was insane! The tune they had chosen for their encore was “Lady From Ipanema” (remember that old bossa nova hit from the early 60’s, “The Girl From Ipanema”?) This rendition of the song included the words, “When she passes, each man she passes goes “ROCK N ROLL!!!!” Fists raised, they shouted those magical words with everything they had, and the audience shouted back at them. Things were getting good and rowdy now. By the time they concluded the song with a rally twice as long as the previous one - this time down on their knees - the crowd rushed toward the stage, and they had to call in “Security” - - our real-life drum technician Gary Clark, and Brian Foraker, Heart’s soundman) to control the mob.
The party launched into a higher pitch after the concert, especially by the arrival of John Waite, his band, and a few members of Scandal. They were in Seattle for a show the next night and were looking for something fun to do on their night off. John, looking great by the way, met Lady Clergy and expressed his regrets at having missed the performance. Soon the house came alive with music from just about every room. Some of the musicians were jamming on old blues songs in the living room, the jukebox was still blaring upstairs, and you could hear different groups of people harmonizing and laughing from here and there. The punch bowl was heating up - seemed to be bubbling - from so much dipping. The red lights changed the color of everyone’s skin. The dancer’s feet seemed to make steam rise from the floor.
Then we all went home.
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